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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23861686">I am weak my love and I am wanting</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieStormfound/pseuds/EllieStormfound'>EllieStormfound</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gentle Kissing, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, Hair Brushing, Idiots in Love, Jaskier | Dandelion Has Feelings, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:28:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,515</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23861686</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieStormfound/pseuds/EllieStormfound</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Jaskier offers to comb out Geralt's tangled hair and to everyones surprise Geralt agrees to it. Which leads to - after a few hiccups - more :)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>329</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I am weak my love and I am wanting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Jaskier," Geralt growled. The two had made camp in a small clearing in the forest they had travelled for a week. The fire was crackling and Jaskier was playing chords on his lute and singing a few lines, trying to form their journey into song. Geralt was on edge tonight and seemed to be irritated by Jaskier’s music. </p><p>“You know Geralt, that my lovely name is the second most used word in your mouth?” Jaskier teased, “following your favourite word ‘fuck’”. “Hm,” was Geralt's answer. “I hope you don’t count your grunts as words? They are clearly an important part of your communicational repertoire. But then my name would only be in third place, and that would be a shame…” Jaskier said with a mocking sadness. “And I would have to begin my research anew.” Geralt just looked at him with an unmoving expression. </p><p>“Oh, come on, don’t you have a teeny tiny smile for your best friend in the whole wide world,” Jaskier said, looking up in the clear sky. He waited for a moment and with a smile counted it as a success, that Geralt had not negated his claim as his friend. Even though the clear sky promised a cold night, Jaskier enjoyed the unlimited view of the night sky. One could imagine, that the dancing sparks of their campfire would rise up to join the countless stars. </p><p>“What is it? You are grumpier than usual,” Jaskier asked the witcher. “Hm,” was all the reply he got. Geralt got out his swords and began his methodical work of oiling them, turning his back to Jaskier. Jaskier sat up and felt warmth spread through him from the familiar sight of his travelling companion. He had tried to convince himself that he only travelled with the witcher gathering material for his songs, but the huge crush he had from the moment he laid eyes on the white haired witcher had grown into something more. At least for him. </p><p>He sat near enough to feel the warmth radiating off of Geralt’s body, smelling his familiar scent of leather, sundried hair and …. okay onions. But nobody was perfect. He could see in the flickering firelight, that the witchers white hair was tangled from a week’s worth of travelling with the only possibility of washing in cold mountain streams. </p><p>“Geralt,” Jaskier said cautiously, “let me comb out your hair, or it will be so tangled that you have to cut it all of.” Geralt’s answering “Hm” sounded a bit like growling. Jaskier was instantly sorry for addressing him. He should have known that Geralt would not be comfortable with this. When he opened his mouth to apologize and to shift away from the witcher, he heard Geralt mumble “okay, do it.”</p><p>Feeling relieved and ecstatic the bard gently took a strand of the white hair in his hands. It did not feel thin and fragile as the white hair of grandparents, the witcher’s shoulder length hair was thick and soft. Jaskier started gently to untangle it with his hands till he could comb through it with his fingers. And Jaskier could have lost himself in the feeling of it.</p><p>Befriending the White Wolf was, as the name suggested, a lot like befriending a wild animal. Geralt was not used to having company, at least not company that was human and he was suspicious of all friendly gestures. It made Jaskier’s heart hurt to think about how cruel and - in the best circumstances - indifferent most humans acted towards witchers. Witchers went through a brutal process of training and mutation to risk their lives every day to keep humans safe from monsters and as thanks were treated as monster themselves. </p><p>Before he could grab his comb to really smooth the hair out, he felt Geralt tense. Trying to get him to relax, he combed once more with his fingers through Geralt’s hair, gently stroking his head. But that seemed to have the opposite effect. Geralt got up, shook his head and walked a few feet away. “Don’t,” Geralt growled, “fucking touch me like that.” And stalked away into the dark woods. </p><p>The bard breathed in deep, hugged his knees and rested his forehead on them. He felt hollow and ashamed for wanting someone so badly who was clearly not interested in him. And nights like this made him question if Geralt wanted him in his life at all, not as a lover, but as a friend or travelling companion. Geralt would have send him away, if he did not want Jaskier with him, wouldn’t he? The witcher was quite good in expressing what he did not want but lousy in expressing what he did want.</p><p>After a while Jaskier got out his bedroll and lay down but could not close his eyes. Even though he was hugely attracted to Geralt, Jaskier would have been content with travelling together with him as a friend. And at the same time he was constantly balancing the hope of something other than friendship with the fear of losing the relationship they had as travelling companions.</p><p>He was not particularly scared for Geralt wandering alone in the dark woods. As a witcher he could defend himself and he was clearly coming back, because he left Roach and his saddlebags with Jaskier. Geralt probably just needed to cool down. </p><p>After about an hour he heard him return. “Jaskier, I am..” Geralt began, but Jaskier interrupted him “you don’t have to say anything, Geralt, I am sorry. This will not happen again.” Jaskier turned on his side, facing away from the witcher. “I will sleep now, we have to get up early tomorrow when we want to reach the village before nightfall. Good night.” </p><p>Geralt sighed and began again “Fuck, Jaskier, listen to me.” The witcher waited. Jaskier lay still, not moving. “Can you please look at me, I cannot apologise to your back.” Jaskier had never managed to refuse Geralt anything. He sat up, drew his knees to his chest, hugged them and looked up at his witcher. “You don’t have to apologize for anything,” Jaskier said, “I apologise for overstepping your boundaries.”</p><p>There the witcher stood, tall, muscular, his hair ruffled and a look of despair on his handsome face. “I am...I did not intend to run away like that,” he coughed as if the words would not come out and after a deep shaky breath continued softly, “I am not used to getting touched.” And even more quietly “especially not so gentle.” </p><p>It did not happen often, but Jaskier was not sure how to respond. After a moment he said, as dread spread through his belly, “I am sorry, Geralt. I will not touch you again, I never wanted you to feel uncomfortable.” </p><p>Geralt looked at him, clearly not reassured, with worry in his eyes. The bard continued, “after we reach the village tomorrow, you will travel to Kaer Morhen to spend the winter there and I will go to the coast. You don’t have to put up with me for much longer.” Saying these words made him feel sick and he had to pull himself together not to show it on his face. He managed something that passed for a smile and wanted to lay down again. </p><p>Geralt made two steps and knelt down in front of him. “That is not what I meant,” Geralt said. He lifted his hand as if to touch Jaskier’s face, but let it drop. With his yellow catlike eyes he looked into Jaskiers’ as if he could communicate what he wanted him to know through his gaze. </p><p>“I…” his breath caught in his throat, “I just planned out a whole speech in the wood, but now everything is gone…”. </p><p>“You have what?”,Jaskier asked incredulous. He could not help but smile. It was too easy to forgive his witcher. “You have undone my fine work by ruffling your hair for an hour and then you forget what you wanted to say?” Geralt sat down properly, turned his back to his bard and said, “maybe you could help me untangle my hair again?” Jaskier’s smile grew. “Of course.” </p><p>This time he could feel him relax under his touch. After a while Jaskier could have sworn that the witcher hummed under his breath, like a purring cat. Jaskier shifted nearer, his legs on either side of the witcher, feeling Geralt's hand on his leg squeezing it softly. </p><p>This time he got out his comb and tenderly guided it through the white hair. Over and over he ran the comb through the witcher’s hair, feeling the warmth of Geralt’s body and inhaling his scent. He felt not only the witcher relax, but also himself. The cold hand of fear that just moments ago had clenched his stomach to a tight knot was gone and a tiny spec of hope started to grow - hope that he had not damaged their friendship.</p><p>Not really wanting it to end but not wanting to test out Geralt’s boundaries again, Jaskier said quietly, “all done” and shifted away from the witcher. Geralt turned to look at him. Jaskier could not decipher the feelings in Geralt’s eyes. The witcher’s deep voice growled, “thank you.” And after a moment, “thank you for untangling my hair and thank you for you patience with me.” Jaskier had not felt very patient but could not hide his smile. “Fuck. I mean it, Jaskier. I cannot imagine how hard it must be for someone like you to spent time with some old loner like me.” </p><p>“What do you mean,” Jaskier asked, “with someone like me?” </p><p>Geralt stood up and said, “you enjoy having company, you always thrive in groups of people. Travelling with just one person and in addition to that a - as you like to call me - grumpy old monosyllabic witcher … i don’t know why you keep up with me.” </p><p>“I never called you old,” Jaskier protested. His blanket fell from his shoulders as he got up. He was just wearing a shirt and trousers and started to shiver instantly. He made a step toward Geralt. “And please never think that you are hard to like. I know we are very different, but that does not make me like you any less.” And after a moment, “I just ask you to give me the benefit of trusting my choice of travelling with you and of trusting me, when I tell you that I like you.” </p><p>His hope of continuing this conversation was stopped as Geralt said with concern in his voice, “Jaskier, you are freezing. It will be a cold night, let's share our blankets.” Jaskier knew by now, that this was just Geralt being practical. The first time he offered this years ago, Geralt had complained that Jaskier’s shattering teeth were keeping him awake and since then sharing blankets and body heat had been a usual and strictly practical routine in cold nights. </p><p>Geralt had placed his bedroll by the fire and Jaskier pushed his over next to it. He lay down on his side facing the fire and pulled his blanket up. He could smell the forest and the fire and thought about how much he would miss this in the winter. Not just Geralt, but all of this. Geralt placed his blanket and hides over Jaskier and lay down under them behind him, shifting nearer till his broad and warm body was curving around Jaskier’s smaller frame. Under the blankets Geralt laid his arm over Jaskier’s side and asked softly, “is this okay?”. </p><p>Jaskier breathed in deep, relaxing into the witcher’s muscled body and answered quietly, “yes, Geralt.” Geralt hummed. The arm-thing was new to their procedure of sharing their blankets. Jaskier was not sure if this was because the night promised to be quite cold or if it was Geralt’s concession to Jaskier’s more physically expressed friendship after tonight's events. The bard was definitely a hugger but learned in their first days of travel together that Geralt was definitely not. Finally Jaskier felt warm with the fire in front of him and Geralt behind him and drifted off into sleep. </p><p>The bard woke up in the middle of the night, body sore from laying on the hard and bumpy forest floor. He started to shift to find a more comfortable position, which seemed to disturb Geralt. With the arm that lay draped over Jaskier, Geralt pulled the bard firmly to him, sleepily mumbling, “stop wiggling”. Geralt’ breath was tickling the hair on Jaskier’s neck and the bards heart started to beat fast, when he felt to his surprise the witcher’s hard erection pressed to his backside through the layers of their pants.</p><p>Jaskier was overwrought by the hot desire that started to bloom in his core and him rationalizing that this was just a normal physical reaction from Geralt, after travelling so long without sexual intimacy, provoked by a worm body pressed to him. It did not mean anything, did it? The bard felt himself getting hard too. </p><p>Jaskier started to shift away and roll to his back to look if Geralt was awake so that he could hopefully sneak away unnoticed to take care of his, ahm, problem. But Geralt was looking at him. And he did not look disturbed or anxious, but Jaskier could swear to find lust in the witcher’s eyes. The bard breathed in deep, trying to calm his racing heart. “Geralt”, he whispered. This time when Geralt said Jaskier’s name it was not with his usual exasperation and annoyance, but with soft intimacy and wanting. Eyes widening, Jaskier opened his mouth in confusion till the corner of his mouth lifted to a shy smile. His brain seemed to short circuit, because he asked without thinking, “may I kiss you, Geralt?” </p><p>Geralt lifted his hand and laid it on Jaskier’s cheek, softly stroking it with his thumb. Jaskier closed his eyes, daring not to breath. “I am afraid when we kiss,” he heart Geralt's deep voice grumble, “that I won’t be able to stop.” The bard's heart skipped a beat, he opened his eyes and said, “who says I want you to stop?” </p><p>Geralt looked at him for a moment longer before he leaned closer and when his lips brushed Jaskier’s, the bard tangled his hands in the white hair and pulled Geralt closer. It was a slow and achingly tender kiss. It was everything Jaskier had dreamed and at the same time nothing alike. Lips he knew by heart but just from sight felt sweetly familiar and electrifyingly foreign. Geralt’s strong arms pulling him closer made him feel protected and safe. The places Geralt touched him, his cheek, his neck, arms and back felt more alive than he ever had. </p><p>When they came up for breath, Jaskier laughed. Geralt tensed, but there was no mocking in the melodic laughter, just pure joy and the witcher relaxed again. The sight of the laughing bard, his bard, lips red and swollen from their kissing, radiating so much happiness, made his heart swell.</p><p>And they started to kiss again, this time fiercer.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading!<br/>Find me on tumblr <a href="https://elliestormfound.tumblr.com/">EllieStormfound</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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